May 11, 2026 @ 12:04 PM | by Falter Wrawley

The office of Tony Vauss, mayor of Irvington, has partnered with legendary toy designer/manufacturer Four Horsemen Studios to create an action figure that will send you emails as the quality of its plastic continuously degrades. The figure's release follows Vauss' four-page personal weight loss notification flyer; both are components of his supposed reelection campaign.

"Using state-of-the-art technology, we've managed to create a lifelike, miniature-scale replica of Tony that, upon purchase, will biometrically identify you and begin emailing you during each recognized moment in which his plastic has decayed," the company relayed in a Thursday press release. "There are numerous possibilities that you and Tony can achieve together. We at Four Horsemen are partial to putting him in grueling battles against overweight characters."